Why college was AWESOME and homemaking is HARD (but still awesome).

I was thinking the other day about how much I loved college... It was one of the best times of my life! Why was it so amazing?

Well... I got to go to SCHOOL, which I loved. I loved to read anything I could get my hands on, to write various genres and submit my writings at festivals and writing competitions. I loved doing research, writing papers, taking notes about lectures, studying for and taking tests (yes, I said I loved taking tests!). My brother (who is one of my best friends) was at college with me. I was able to have a close-nit group of girl friends for the first (and only to date) time of my life. I met my husband at school. I didn't have to do housework at school.

I loved school because I got to spend 4 years being as SELFISH as I could be.

I was the only one I had to think about. The cafeteria ladies did all the kitchen work for me. I just showed up to eat. No one woke me up in the night or early in the morning. I didn't have to clean up after anyone but myself. I chose what to do, when to do it, and how to do it.

I got to be selfish.

Fast forward about 3 years after graduation... I had stopped going to graduate school (couldn't afford it any longer) and I was no longer working outside the home. I also had two children. My husband worked 45 minutes away from home, and I was STUCK at home with two kids ALL DAY LONG. 

I had no idea what I was doing. 

Sure, I had been taught individual tasks. I knew how to clean a toilet, how to cook a meal, how to change a diaper. But I had never been taught how to pull it all together and how to manage a home. 

I started my research by buying the book Managers of Their Homes, which you can find HERE. I learned how helpful having a schedule can be, and strategies to implement a schedule. 

However, that schedule fell apart once I became pregnant with #3 and couldn't stick to the schedule due to morning sickness and another host of symptoms that make me feel ill to remember. 

I found another resource: Large Family Logistics, which you can find HERE. This book also gave me strategies to cope. I learned about having routines and rhythms in my day rather than scheduling such and such from this time to that... I learned that I need to filter through all the ideas I read about and tweak them to fit MY family and MY family's needs. No one else's schedule is going to work for me. 

But then I hit another wall. I might have the perfect schedule/routine/rhythm, but it's all for naught if I don't stick to the schedule. I was also dealing with anger. I yelled at my kids, and I yelled a lot, because it was THEIR FAULT I couldn't get anything done. I was lonely. I didn't know how to cope without plenty of "me time." 

I was missing the HEART of home management. 

I needed to learn one thing: Unselfishness. 

But I don't know how to be unselfish. 

I've had to learn that my time is not my own. I have a job to do. My job is hard work. I have to be unselfish all the time. I have to act loving toward my family even when the schedule is interrupted. I have to stay on task even when the computer's glowing face invites me over to play. 

When I've just spent an hour organizing toys and then folding a load of clothes before lunch and I find the kids have dumped out all the toys I've just organized, I have to take a big breath and smile and say, "let's clean up the toys!"

When I'm exhausted and my husband comes home from work exhausted and the kids are getting up in the night and I just want to cry, I have to get up and be unselfish. 

When I just want to be alone and wish I could have a few minutes to myself to read, to write, to think and the kids are all over me... I have to be unselfish and show my kids some love. 

I have to:

-Stay on schedule as much as possible (i.e. stop wasting time!)

-Work hard

-Work with a good attitude

-Show love to my kids even when the schedule falls apart, even when I'm tired, even when I've wasted my day. 

-Invite my kids to join me so that they can learn a good work ethic.

These things are hard to do if you're selfish like me. 

But, as I've already alluded to above: Unselfishness = Love. 

Or: Love = Unselfishness. Whichever you prefer. 

What are you struggling with? Is your schedule falling apart? Do you struggle with wasting time? Are you angry all the time?  Maybe it's not your husband's fault or your kids' fault. 

Maybe you are struggling with selfishness. 

Pray about it... practice unselfishness and love today! (Side effects from practicing unselfishness include, but are not limited to the following: a growth in patience, peace in your heart, a cleaner house, a happier husband, calmer children, a joyful heart.)

Here are a few of my favorite verses that touch on this:

"...urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands,so that no one will malign the word of God." Titus 2:4-5

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." Colossians 3:23-24

M is for Moon...

We are really enjoying My Father's World Kindergarten!! This week we learned about the Moon. Here are only some of the fun things we did this week:

We practiced cutting and doing an alphabet puzzle

We learned the moon cycles with Oreos

We colored and did more puzzles

Here is a sample of Josiah's work:

We ate a rocket ship snack:

 

We made Moon cookies, and waited patiently for them to cook.

We made a moon mobile (he made a full moon and a crescent moon along with the stars)

We also read lots of books about the moon, counted to 11, learned about reflections, and learned that we are the light of the world. 

All in all, we had a great week!

Anyone else out there doing My Father's World this year? 

Anchors Aweigh...

I was cleaning the bathroom... the kids were quietly watching a movie when I heard a loud CRASH, followed by screaming. 

This is what I found:

My two year old was trapped underneath. 

Naturally, I panicked.

Adrenaline kicked in and like Superwoman, I heaved this giant dresser off her, snatched her out from under it and let it fall back into place. I called a sweet neighbor who came immediately. After I had stopped shaking, we watched my two year old for a few minutes, and decided to take her to the doctor because she was acting dizzy. 

My neighbor let me use her car while she watched my 4 year old and 3 month old. 

The doctor's verdict: She's fine. She has a nice goose egg on her forehead, bruising on her cheek and upper lip, and probably a black eye. Plus more bruises on her torso. But she'll be fine. (the pictures don't do the bruising on her face justice.... it's much more prominent in person.)

A few more interesting things about my day:

-My four year old was more concerned about his broken piggy bank than his injured sister.
-My two year old almost gave herself a REAL concussion because at the doctor's office she was leaping off the chairs in the waiting room (this was when I realized she was fine)
-My three month old tasted formula for the first time today, because for the first time I was gone for her meal time (thanks to big sis).
-If you have a pulled muscle in your back and you lift a heavy dresser, you end up in more pain than when you started.

Moral of the story: ANCHOR YOUR FURNITURE!

This could have killed my little girl. But our awesome God protected her.

If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
    and you make the Most High your dwelling,
 no harm will overtake you,
    no disaster will come near your tent.
 For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
 they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

 “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will deliver him and honor him.
 With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.”

Psalm 91:9-16

Homemaking: Fail

Usually people post these gorgeous pictures of their homes. They're supposed to be encouraging, as in, "you can get your home to look this great too!" but I find them to be discouraging. This is what my kitchen looks like right now. I hope everyone here notices that most of the dishes are done. But the clutter is overtaking me. 

My bedroom is cluttered too. We went on vacation 2 weeks ago and I haven't even unpacked yet. 

AND... the kids' room. But to be fair, this room ends up looking like this EVERY day until they clean it up. But did I get them to start cleaning it up before doing anything else??

Nope, they're watching SuperWhy in my cluttered living room. 

I don't even want to talk about the spare room. (AKA craft room, diaper room, room with boxes, room that contains pictures to be put up on the walls someday in the elusive future, etc.)

READ: Having three children (one a newborn) and maintaining a home is no piece of cake. Here's what my week looked like:

Monday: managed to get all the laundry done

Tuesday: managed to get the kitchen cleaned, and I cooked a good meal. 

Wednesday: got rid of a lot of clutter, went grocery shopping, but after all that the kitchen was dirty and the laundry piled up.

Thursday: I was gone all morning (from 9:30-2:30) to a doctor's appointment. We came home and crashed for a few hour before we picked my husband up from work. We ate out and came home for bed. 

Friday: I was still tired from Thursday. We did school on Friday. I got the kitchen re-cleaned. I did a load of laundry. 

Saturday: I haven't done anything today except be overwhelmed by everything to do, and analyze where I should start with everything. 

You see, I start each morning well. I get up, nurse the baby, get dressed, get the kids dressed, fix breakfast, clean the kitchen (okay, I clean the kitchen SOME mornings), listen to a daily audio Bible, get teeth brushed (MOST mornings) and get the kids busy playing.... and by then the baby has to nurse again. And by the time she's done the kids have made a mess I have to help them clean up. And by then the phone rings. And then I get off and yell at the kids because they've made the same mess again. And then I remember the laundry... but can't get to it because I have to step in because my daughter bit my son because my son hit my daughter and they're both screaming and crying. And then it's lunch time. And nap time. And that's my favorite part some days. 

And sometimes, just to be perfectly honest, I spend way too much time on the computer. Or on the phone. And I feel guilty about trying to escape from my little world, so I stop what I'm doing and spend the rest of the day playing make believe. 

But then the house is still messy. And the baby needs to be fed again. 

Sometimes I wonder what the point is. I'm here all day, every day. I don't have visitors. I don't have a vehicle to go and make visits. It's just me and the kids ALL DAY LONG. 

And the mindless tasks never end. Laundry. Dishes. Cleaning. Organizing. Disciplining. 

I'm not trying to complain, I'm just trying to express how CHALLENGING this whole stay-at-home mom thing is. 

Why is it so hard? 

I think it's hard because I'm selfish. I'm used to living for myself and doing what I like to do. 

It's hard because I'm forced to die to myself. 

Because I am learning patience. I am learning perseverance. I am learning to depend on God with every breath in me. 

I'm also learning to slow down. To enjoy my imaginary tea and bologna that my children so lovingly prepare for me. To enjoy baby smiles and coos because I know my baby isn't going to be a baby forever. 

And you know what? I don't have all the answers. Sometimes I still don't have a clue. 

But I know all these struggles are worth it. 

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

How about you? Do you ever struggle with the seasons of life God has given to you?  

Summer is Ending...

I haven't posted since April... Things are FINALLY settling down! What has happened since April?
 -I gave birth to a baby
-I have spent many hours nursing and caring for this baby
-We have had the car break down multiple times
-We participated in VBS at our church
 -We kept my 12 year old brother for 2 weeks
 -My son left to visit my parents for a week
-We visited Nashville to attend the baptism service of 3 of my younger siblings
 -My husband got a new job
-We went on vacation

We also started My Father's World (MFW) Kindergarten. *whew*

Below are pictures of my 3 munchkins, their first few days enjoying MFW, and our school room with our workboxes (which I plan to write about someday...).