A Beautiful Day

When it comes to homemaking, I go back and forth between two extremes.

Sometimes I keep a clean house. I am a dictator and I bark at my children. I get frustrated with interruptions. No one is happy, but the house is clean.

Other times I recognize the importance of maintaining peace and harmony. I play with my children. I love on them. I still get frustrated with interruptions. And our house is a wreck.

How do I strike a balance? How can I have my home clean AND happy?

I decided that we would have a beautiful day today.

How?
-I would take the interruptions as they come with grace
-I would be fully present with the kids, including them in my work and not allowing the tv
-I would focus on making our home beautiful one area at a time.

Here is how our morning has gone:

7:30- No barking. Snuggles with the kids (I promise the baby was happy until I turned the camera on! She wanted to eat, not be a model!)

7:45- Nurse the baby while I read from Romans. I listen to it online while I read it, so the kids can hear too. A beautiful day must have a beautiful beginning in the Word. I pray about our day.  

8- Start water boiling for instant grits, scarf down a bowl of cereal (terrible, I know), get kids dressed, feed them breakfast, assess the mess in the kitchen, start laundry, clean the kitchen with the kids

9:30- Stop to drink water and take my supplements, switch the laundry, change diapers, lay baby down to nap, sweep and mop the floor, take a beautiful picture, assess the mess in my bedroom

10- stop to drink more water, work in my bedroom with the kids (change sheets, clear clutter, dust, vacuum middles), take a picture of my beautiful bedroom, assess the mess in the living room

10:40- begin to lose focus, drink more water, work in living room (clutter, dust) and yell at kids to clean their room since they didn't do it the first 15 times I asked them to (totally forgetting the "no barking" rule). 

11- stop to nurse, change diapers, then vacuum living room and kids' room (sorry, no picture of the kids' room). 

11:30- I'm done. I'm tired. I don't want to work any more. I let the kids watch Thomas the Train. But I have a nice bucket of mop water and I haven't mopped the bathrooms in forever. I don't FEEL like sweeping and mopping. So I forget the sweeping and just mop. Sure, there's still dust bunnies, but they are CLEAN dust bunnies!

This afternoon I plan to fold the laundry and put it away, do school with the kids... and keep the kitchen clean after lunching on leftover pizza (because we're healthy like that...)

I believe Flylady said, "Housework done imperfectly still blesses your family." (Thanks, Dawn, for reminding me who said that!)

Even though the bathrooms aren't clean, even though I mopped without sweeping, even though I yelled a little, it is okay. I am not perfect. 

But I can still have a beautiful day. 

"He hath made everything beautiful in His time." Ecclesiastes 3:11

Have you had a beautiful day today? If not, please stop for a moment and give your day back to God. He can make it beautiful. 

Fall Break

This week we're taking a break from school.

What we've been doing lately:

I was having too much fun enjoying school (MFW K) with the kids to think about picking up the camera and taking pictures of everything. So far our topics have been: Creation, Sun, the Moon, Leaves, Apples, and Nests (Animal homes).

We've gone on a leaf hunt, made an apple pie, painted trees, and made a sun dial.

We also started going to MOPS. For anyone who doesn't know what MOPS is, it stands for "Mothers of Pre Schoolers." It's a group of mommies who have kids 5 years old and younger. Childcare is provided, and the moms have time for fellowship, crafts, food, and listening to good teaching and mentoring. If you have preschoolers and have a MOPS group in your area and have never attended, you should check it out!

This Week:

The focus of this week is on getting our house clean and organized!

I'm letting the kids do lots of fun things while I am busy working. Here's a list of what they'll be doing all week:

-Playing in their room together (I only move on the "organized" play when they start fighting/getting into things!)
-Playdough
-Coloring
-Watching movies or PBS kids shows (gotta be honest!)
-Playing with MFW Toddler toys and Sonlight P3/4 games
-Reading books
-Listening/dancing to music
-Helping Mama with laundry (folding washcloths, matching socks, putting things in drawers), picking up their own toys, and cleaning the kitchen (I've put all my tupperware and plastic things down on the lower shelves, so now they're responsible for loading/unloading most of the dishes in the dishwasher!!)

My Reading List This Week:

For motivation, I'm using information from several different sources. Click on the pictures of the books to find out more information about them. These are all GREAT books, but you have to recognize that YOU are a unique individual, so not EVERYTHING in each book will work for you! Take what helps, leave the rest!

For understanding WHY keeping the house up is such a struggle:

For my daily schedule:

For my weekly rhythm (i.e. Monday is laundry day, Thursday is errand day, etc.):

For specific help in getting each of the areas of my house clean and organized:

Do you have any favorite books about homemaking/organizing?? (PLEASE share with me in the comments section! I love to read new books!)

Baby's Hand

As I look at your dimpled hand
I wonder
What will this hand do?
Surely it will hold a spoon
And pen.
Most likely it will strike a sibling,
And then rest, curled on a hip,
In defiance of Mommy.
But oh, I wonder about these kissable fingers,
What else?
Will they fly across keys,
Making music that causes my heart
To soar?
Could this hand possibly write out mathematical figures
I don't know exist?
Or grip with incredible strength
A mountaintop?

Oh sweet baby hand,
Will you someday stroke a troubled head,
Soothing a troubled soul?
And what if, oh what if!
A young man holds it
(I can hardly imagine!)
And sweeps her off her feet
And out of our home
But never our hearts.
And what if that hand
Will one day hold another tiny hand
As she wonders
The same things I wonder

But for right now
I thank the Lord
That you are
Who you are
Just the way you are
Right now.
My precious baby's hand.

Why college was AWESOME and homemaking is HARD (but still awesome).

I was thinking the other day about how much I loved college... It was one of the best times of my life! Why was it so amazing?

Well... I got to go to SCHOOL, which I loved. I loved to read anything I could get my hands on, to write various genres and submit my writings at festivals and writing competitions. I loved doing research, writing papers, taking notes about lectures, studying for and taking tests (yes, I said I loved taking tests!). My brother (who is one of my best friends) was at college with me. I was able to have a close-nit group of girl friends for the first (and only to date) time of my life. I met my husband at school. I didn't have to do housework at school.

I loved school because I got to spend 4 years being as SELFISH as I could be.

I was the only one I had to think about. The cafeteria ladies did all the kitchen work for me. I just showed up to eat. No one woke me up in the night or early in the morning. I didn't have to clean up after anyone but myself. I chose what to do, when to do it, and how to do it.

I got to be selfish.

Fast forward about 3 years after graduation... I had stopped going to graduate school (couldn't afford it any longer) and I was no longer working outside the home. I also had two children. My husband worked 45 minutes away from home, and I was STUCK at home with two kids ALL DAY LONG. 

I had no idea what I was doing. 

Sure, I had been taught individual tasks. I knew how to clean a toilet, how to cook a meal, how to change a diaper. But I had never been taught how to pull it all together and how to manage a home. 

I started my research by buying the book Managers of Their Homes, which you can find HERE. I learned how helpful having a schedule can be, and strategies to implement a schedule. 

However, that schedule fell apart once I became pregnant with #3 and couldn't stick to the schedule due to morning sickness and another host of symptoms that make me feel ill to remember. 

I found another resource: Large Family Logistics, which you can find HERE. This book also gave me strategies to cope. I learned about having routines and rhythms in my day rather than scheduling such and such from this time to that... I learned that I need to filter through all the ideas I read about and tweak them to fit MY family and MY family's needs. No one else's schedule is going to work for me. 

But then I hit another wall. I might have the perfect schedule/routine/rhythm, but it's all for naught if I don't stick to the schedule. I was also dealing with anger. I yelled at my kids, and I yelled a lot, because it was THEIR FAULT I couldn't get anything done. I was lonely. I didn't know how to cope without plenty of "me time." 

I was missing the HEART of home management. 

I needed to learn one thing: Unselfishness. 

But I don't know how to be unselfish. 

I've had to learn that my time is not my own. I have a job to do. My job is hard work. I have to be unselfish all the time. I have to act loving toward my family even when the schedule is interrupted. I have to stay on task even when the computer's glowing face invites me over to play. 

When I've just spent an hour organizing toys and then folding a load of clothes before lunch and I find the kids have dumped out all the toys I've just organized, I have to take a big breath and smile and say, "let's clean up the toys!"

When I'm exhausted and my husband comes home from work exhausted and the kids are getting up in the night and I just want to cry, I have to get up and be unselfish. 

When I just want to be alone and wish I could have a few minutes to myself to read, to write, to think and the kids are all over me... I have to be unselfish and show my kids some love. 

I have to:

-Stay on schedule as much as possible (i.e. stop wasting time!)

-Work hard

-Work with a good attitude

-Show love to my kids even when the schedule falls apart, even when I'm tired, even when I've wasted my day. 

-Invite my kids to join me so that they can learn a good work ethic.

These things are hard to do if you're selfish like me. 

But, as I've already alluded to above: Unselfishness = Love. 

Or: Love = Unselfishness. Whichever you prefer. 

What are you struggling with? Is your schedule falling apart? Do you struggle with wasting time? Are you angry all the time?  Maybe it's not your husband's fault or your kids' fault. 

Maybe you are struggling with selfishness. 

Pray about it... practice unselfishness and love today! (Side effects from practicing unselfishness include, but are not limited to the following: a growth in patience, peace in your heart, a cleaner house, a happier husband, calmer children, a joyful heart.)

Here are a few of my favorite verses that touch on this:

"...urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands,so that no one will malign the word of God." Titus 2:4-5

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." Colossians 3:23-24

M is for Moon...

We are really enjoying My Father's World Kindergarten!! This week we learned about the Moon. Here are only some of the fun things we did this week:

We practiced cutting and doing an alphabet puzzle

We learned the moon cycles with Oreos

We colored and did more puzzles

Here is a sample of Josiah's work:

We ate a rocket ship snack:

 

We made Moon cookies, and waited patiently for them to cook.

We made a moon mobile (he made a full moon and a crescent moon along with the stars)

We also read lots of books about the moon, counted to 11, learned about reflections, and learned that we are the light of the world. 

All in all, we had a great week!

Anyone else out there doing My Father's World this year? 

Anchors Aweigh...

I was cleaning the bathroom... the kids were quietly watching a movie when I heard a loud CRASH, followed by screaming. 

This is what I found:

My two year old was trapped underneath. 

Naturally, I panicked.

Adrenaline kicked in and like Superwoman, I heaved this giant dresser off her, snatched her out from under it and let it fall back into place. I called a sweet neighbor who came immediately. After I had stopped shaking, we watched my two year old for a few minutes, and decided to take her to the doctor because she was acting dizzy. 

My neighbor let me use her car while she watched my 4 year old and 3 month old. 

The doctor's verdict: She's fine. She has a nice goose egg on her forehead, bruising on her cheek and upper lip, and probably a black eye. Plus more bruises on her torso. But she'll be fine. (the pictures don't do the bruising on her face justice.... it's much more prominent in person.)

A few more interesting things about my day:

-My four year old was more concerned about his broken piggy bank than his injured sister.
-My two year old almost gave herself a REAL concussion because at the doctor's office she was leaping off the chairs in the waiting room (this was when I realized she was fine)
-My three month old tasted formula for the first time today, because for the first time I was gone for her meal time (thanks to big sis).
-If you have a pulled muscle in your back and you lift a heavy dresser, you end up in more pain than when you started.

Moral of the story: ANCHOR YOUR FURNITURE!

This could have killed my little girl. But our awesome God protected her.

If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
    and you make the Most High your dwelling,
 no harm will overtake you,
    no disaster will come near your tent.
 For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
 they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

 “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will deliver him and honor him.
 With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.”

Psalm 91:9-16

Homemaking: Fail

Usually people post these gorgeous pictures of their homes. They're supposed to be encouraging, as in, "you can get your home to look this great too!" but I find them to be discouraging. This is what my kitchen looks like right now. I hope everyone here notices that most of the dishes are done. But the clutter is overtaking me. 

My bedroom is cluttered too. We went on vacation 2 weeks ago and I haven't even unpacked yet. 

AND... the kids' room. But to be fair, this room ends up looking like this EVERY day until they clean it up. But did I get them to start cleaning it up before doing anything else??

Nope, they're watching SuperWhy in my cluttered living room. 

I don't even want to talk about the spare room. (AKA craft room, diaper room, room with boxes, room that contains pictures to be put up on the walls someday in the elusive future, etc.)

READ: Having three children (one a newborn) and maintaining a home is no piece of cake. Here's what my week looked like:

Monday: managed to get all the laundry done

Tuesday: managed to get the kitchen cleaned, and I cooked a good meal. 

Wednesday: got rid of a lot of clutter, went grocery shopping, but after all that the kitchen was dirty and the laundry piled up.

Thursday: I was gone all morning (from 9:30-2:30) to a doctor's appointment. We came home and crashed for a few hour before we picked my husband up from work. We ate out and came home for bed. 

Friday: I was still tired from Thursday. We did school on Friday. I got the kitchen re-cleaned. I did a load of laundry. 

Saturday: I haven't done anything today except be overwhelmed by everything to do, and analyze where I should start with everything. 

You see, I start each morning well. I get up, nurse the baby, get dressed, get the kids dressed, fix breakfast, clean the kitchen (okay, I clean the kitchen SOME mornings), listen to a daily audio Bible, get teeth brushed (MOST mornings) and get the kids busy playing.... and by then the baby has to nurse again. And by the time she's done the kids have made a mess I have to help them clean up. And by then the phone rings. And then I get off and yell at the kids because they've made the same mess again. And then I remember the laundry... but can't get to it because I have to step in because my daughter bit my son because my son hit my daughter and they're both screaming and crying. And then it's lunch time. And nap time. And that's my favorite part some days. 

And sometimes, just to be perfectly honest, I spend way too much time on the computer. Or on the phone. And I feel guilty about trying to escape from my little world, so I stop what I'm doing and spend the rest of the day playing make believe. 

But then the house is still messy. And the baby needs to be fed again. 

Sometimes I wonder what the point is. I'm here all day, every day. I don't have visitors. I don't have a vehicle to go and make visits. It's just me and the kids ALL DAY LONG. 

And the mindless tasks never end. Laundry. Dishes. Cleaning. Organizing. Disciplining. 

I'm not trying to complain, I'm just trying to express how CHALLENGING this whole stay-at-home mom thing is. 

Why is it so hard? 

I think it's hard because I'm selfish. I'm used to living for myself and doing what I like to do. 

It's hard because I'm forced to die to myself. 

Because I am learning patience. I am learning perseverance. I am learning to depend on God with every breath in me. 

I'm also learning to slow down. To enjoy my imaginary tea and bologna that my children so lovingly prepare for me. To enjoy baby smiles and coos because I know my baby isn't going to be a baby forever. 

And you know what? I don't have all the answers. Sometimes I still don't have a clue. 

But I know all these struggles are worth it. 

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

How about you? Do you ever struggle with the seasons of life God has given to you?